I probably shouldn't be writing this, but I feel like I need to. 

It's been almost 8 months and you are still in my thoughts every single day. I don't know why, but it's like I can't push you out. 

I am no longer bitter about everything that happened, my heart still hurts and I don't know when or if it will fully heal. 

Something everyday reminds me of you or a memory we had together. It could be the slightest thing such as driving in my car or something someone says. I often think about that night and there are so many things I wish I could have said. But I know that the Lord gave me the words I said for a reason. 

I don't know if you are experiencing the same thing, and part of me wants to say you aren't. I still feel as if I was the one most effected about everything that happened. I doubt I will ever find out and that's probably a good thing. I don't think I need to know. Knowing would bring up more memories and the bitterness would come back.

I hope you have changed and let God take control in your life. He is still healing me and I know He can heal you too. What happened changed me and I know it was for the better. I have grown so much closer to the Lord because of it. I was relying on you and I needed to be relying on Him.